why is self-love such a struggle?

hey my love,

Why is self-love such a struggle?

Earlier this week, I met up with one of my friends to just hang out. While we were chilling, she got talking about one of her friends who was always complaining about her relationship with her boyfriend and how toxic the guy was, yet wasn’t willing to leave the relationship. After listening to her for a while, it got me thinking. I started asking myself questions, like why would a person willfully stay in a toxic relationship when they knew the relationship was toxic. I realized that it all came down to self-love and a person who doesn’t have self-love will settle for trash or toxic treatment. After my meeting with my friend I was inspired to discuss this topic.

A lot of people have different level of self-love, some high while others low. It all stems from how we were raised and the different traumas we have faced in life, even with this it doesn’t mean that we cant develop a healthy level of self-love and today I will be giving you some tips on how to develop self-love.

Self-love is an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue and having a positive regard for one’s self. This includes accepting yourself as you are, prioritizing your needs, setting healthy boundaries and forgiving yourself when needed. When you have a strong sense of self-love you understand your own value and treat yourself in a loving way.

Self-love is so important because it motivates much of our positive behavior while reducing harmful behavior. It helps us to take care of ourselves, reduce stress and strive for success. When we have self-love, we are more willing to take opportunities. We can do so because we have faith in ourselves and we know we can handle the outcome, whether we get what we want or not. A big reason for this is self believe which comes from self-love.

When we have a high sense of self-love, we are able to look at challenges as temporary setbacks or even as opportunities for growth. It makes us better at dealing with life’s ups and down cause it gives us confidence in ourselves. This attitude helps us to become more resilient.

Seeing all the positive effect of self-love, how then can we develop self-love?

One of the ways of developing self-love is by spending time alone and learning more about ourselves. we can do this by learning about what we love, what we value and what truly matters to us. When we know this we are more aware of our self worth and less likely to tolerate the bare minimum. A great way to learn more about ourselves is through journaling. Journaling is a good way of getting in tune with ourselves.

Another way of developing self-love is by debunking negative thoughts about ourselves. So if we are so used to saying things like “I don’t like my body” or “I’m so ugly” look at the mirror and tell yourself positive things about yourself. Rather than complaining about the negative things about yourself focus on the positive things. Focus on that good thing that everyone always compliments you about and own it. Also bear in mind that nobody fully thinks that they are perfect. Everyone is struggling with one insecurity or the other and that pretty girl you are comparing yourself with also has her own insecurities she is dealing with. The difference between us and the “ celebrities” we see and compare ourselves to or think “are so perfect” is that they owned their strengths and doing that got them to where they are. So rather than complain all the time about parts of you that you cant change dwell on the positive parts of you and own it.

Another way of building self-love is by recognizing what you are good at. There is a sort of confidence that comes with you knowing you are really good at something, and that confidence can give a boost to your self-love. So, figure out what you are really good at. Ask yourself what is something I find quite easy to do that others struggle with and I’m really good at. when you figure that out, you will find what you are really good at.

Lastly, a good way of building self-love is by surrounding yourself with positive people. When you are surrounded with people that constantly show you love and say positive things to you, your self-love will grow cause you will be more aware of the positive parts of you and you can dwell more on that. The case is different when you are surrounded by toxic people or people who don’t really care about you. Don’t be around people that you constantly have to fake who you are to be around. people that you cannot be your true self around. Be your authentic self and find people that vibe with that and move with them. If you have to be constantly around people that you cant be your true self around or people that just make you feel less than yourself then you will only continue to hate yourself the more. So move with people that make you feel better about yourself. This brings us to the end, I hope you were able to learn a thing or two about self-love

B ringing us to the other aspect of the Newsletter; here is the quote for the week

here is the podcast of the week, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did

here are my three top songs of the week

Before I end this, just a reminder that the journey of self-love is one that is filled with ups and downs. There will be days when you would feel really good about yourself and there will be days when you will not. It is totally normal, just remember that you are amazing even with your perfections and imperfections.

If you love this newsletter don’t forget to share it with your family and friends and leave your thoughts I would love to hear from you.

Bye my love, see you next week

Better Me Girl